Monday, November 8, 2010

let's go back

This morning when I looked in the mirror my eye caught on a faded orange smudge across the hem of my tank top. Then I remembered that I was wearing this tank top under my t-shirt on a rainy day in a rural town in Western Ethiopia. Its been through the wash since then, but laundry detergent's got nothin' on Gimbie dirt!

Ohhhh, I want to go back so bad.

You're probably thinking, DUH you want to go back - your son is there. Yes. I do want to go back because it will mean bringing home our little boy. But it's more than that... we fell in love with all of it - the beauty, the culture, the openness and sincerity of the people we met... even the deep red dirt that stained our clothes.

Seeing the smudge on my shirt today made me feel something bittersweet, something hard to put into words but if I had to try...

I'd call it homesickness.


  1. No kidding! When I got back from Zambia my clothes stunk like Africa. I almost didn't want to wash the smell away. I think I left part of my heart there. We're not even adopting (yet), I just worked at an orphanage. But if someone told me I could go back right now -- I'd be on the plane in an instant!

  2. welcome to my world :-). There is something in that red just seeps into your blood.

  3. Yes, finding a second country to love is incredible. You realize there is more to the world that the one you grew up in. Obviously we didn't adopt and I've never been to Africa, but I've been adopted by my new home country and I love that my child has two "homes" to grow in and love! You will forever feel like part of you is missing, part of you is on the other side of the world dying to get back! It makes life so much more fulfilling (but don't forget to enjoy where you are!)

  4. You've got to get this book and read it to your kids...My Grandfather's Journey, by Allen Say. It is a Caldecott Medal Book, and it describes this feeling of "home in two lands" so well.

  5. I'll go with you.
    Nathan and I already know that these two trips probably won't be our last...
    Life can be unexpected in a wonderful sort of way.