Saturday, January 8, 2011

tightrope walking

This stage of our adoption process is feeling a bit like walking a tightrope. We are balancing on the impossibly fine line between being logistically and physically prepared to travel at a moment's notice, and being emotionally prepared for the reality that we may be waiting several more weeks. Like a tightrope walker, I am trying to keep my chin up and my eyes looking ahead... but thank God there's a net, because I am falling a lot.

Today a wave of sadness knocked me off the wire after I spent an hour packing some of Zeke's things. As I gathered all the little items we will use to care for him - shampoo and diaper cream and sippy cups, I was overwhelmed by a desire to care for him now. To bathe him and change him and feed him: to mother him. I am his mother, and I want to mother him. The fact that I can't do that yet and have no idea when I will get to... it is a tough pill to swallow right now.

But swallow it we must, and a spoonful of gratitude helps the medicine go down:

Thank you, Lord, that Zeke is healthy, happy, and getting excellent care from the loving and capable nannies at the Thomas Center.

Thank you, Lord, that we have a great team of people from YWAM and CHI working on our case both here and in Ethiopia.

Thank you, Lord, for our amazingly supportive network of family and friends, especially our fellow YWAM adoptive families who are in this with us.

Thank you, Lord, for your promise to be with us every step of the way and to bring our family together in your perfect timing.


  1. Thinking of you and sending my love and prayers. You are amazing and Zeke is going to be an amazing addition to your family. Stay strong! He will be home soon!!!

  2. Amen, sister! He will get us there and what a great day it will be. But for today, it's good to give thanks. I smiled when I read your post because I've been feeling the same way lately. Love to you guys!

  3. Oh, this is such a tough time. Thinking of you!