Monday, May 10, 2010

not to be

Today we got an email from CHI letting us know that they will not be placing the 6 year old girl with us. Although we pretty much expected this news, it hit hard and our hearts are heavy.

It would be easier to make a list of things we're sad about, but here is a list of things we are thankful for.

* We believe that the staff of CHI considered this carefully and had the best interests of the child and our family in mind when they made the decision.

* The email we received was gentle, thoughtful, thorough, specific, and in many ways actually encouraging to us, despite the heart-breaking news.

* CHI and YWAM are working hard to find the right family for this sweet girl, a family with seasoned parents whose other children are already grown.

* God will bring us our next child in His good time. We know that CHI and YWAM will do their best to help us find that child and bring him or her home. This is a bump in the road, but it is not by any means the end of the road.

* While we wait we also savor this time as a family of four, enjoying our sweet boys as much as we can. We are so excited for the next phase of our family's life, but we also recognize that it will never be the same after we add a new Ballast into the mix. These waiting days are long, but they are special too.

For now, please continue to pray for us: for our grieving and healing, for our wisdom and understanding, for our openness to God's will, and for our trust in His provision. Thanks.


  1. I am so sorry.

    I went through all these emotions when YWAM called and said they were placing her with another family (which turned out to be you guys). Oh, the pain! It doesn't seem possible to grieve so profoundly for a child that isn't even a member of your family yet. I am so very sorry you are feeling this pain.

    But what a lucky girl to have so many families who want her so badly. If only every orphan out there had a line of people waiting, hoping, praying to be their parents -- wouldn't that be beautiful?

    Again, I am deeply sorry for the pain you are feeling.

    Trust in God. Cling to His promise. The perfect child for your home is out there!

  2. Thank you... I've been thinking of you guys & actually just emailed you. You probably understand what we are going through better than anyone! But how bittersweet that is. :( Thanks for your prayers... we both have beautiful children in our future!

  3. I'm so sorry for your pain. :( This is certainly a well-loved and wanted little girl! Our family also has been praying for her since we first layed eyes on her 6 months ago. But she is not for us either! (adoption on hold due to pregnancy).
    I know a different kind of pain through adoption (being placed on hold), but I can testify to God's sustaining, healing hand slowly bringing us to the other side of the pain. ((((hugs))) We will definitely be praying for your family.

  4. So Sorry, Haley- hope deferred makes the heart sick, huh? Here's hoping and praying all of those things that you've just said- I can see God comforting with you with His wisdom and Himself. Love to you Ballasts.

  5. Sad to hear this news but trusting with you that God does indeed have a plan - Praying that you have just the right amount of time & space to grieve & that all of you, including the boys are held gently in His hands - Grateful that you received clear and direct communication from CHI and that they are so thoughtful & thorough - Love you guys lots...

  6. I'm so sorry. I don't have anything else to say, but want you to know that I am praying for you all.